Safley

Fly into the dead of night
Hear the rhythm of the bird wings?
They are waiting for you
Ride into the city of lights
Hear the urban buzz?
They are waiting for you
The signs are all there so fly far
The signs are all there so drive away
Come into the open space and she’ll find you
Come into the open space and he’ll see her
It will be over soon
It will all slow down one day
Fly into the dead of night
Hear the rhythm of the pure night breeze?
They are waiting for you
Ride into the city lights
Hear the cries from those lost?
They are waiting for you
The signs are all there so feel free
The signs are all there so listen
Come into the open space and they’ll be there
Come into the open space and HE can help you
Come

Day Break

Come day break I will be no more
I will have already been lost in the darkness
For the darkness has swallowed me whole

Come day break there will be no sound
The sounds have already been lost in the darkness
For the darkness is silencing

Come day break i will be no more

Silenced by breathlessness
No more to be heard
No more to be seen

Devoured and purged into the never ending darkness

Blossoms

Blossoms adore the Rain
The Rain enjoys nurturing the Blossoms
Blossoms desiccate to have Rain
Wither
Admit you care for the rain.
Admit it!
This is why you dry up
Oh you destructive fool!
Why must the Blossoms know not?
Only to dabble in the work of the evil sweltering sun
Blossoms have but a few days to live
The Blossoms have been taught
Train yourself!
Learn from the heat
Learn from the Rain
Learn from your own blossoms
Blossoms must learn to hurt
Blossoms must learn to live

Find You

Matthew 7:8
“For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Something we strive for
Something we long for
Something we hope for

Those we know and those we don’t will somehow become one

Perceive the wisdom
Perceive the sanctity
Perceive the yearning

Those we know and those we don’t will somehow become one

Celebrate the rush
Celebrate the sighs
Celebrate the meager

Those we know and those we don’t will somehow become one

Way Off Far

I want to feel you
I want to know you

Why can’t you see me?
The way I see you?

Can you show me the way to the gates of the living?
Can you show me the way to the land of the lost?
Can you teach me the word that I need to say so that I can see you again?

I hear the clock tick
I hear the winds raging

Why can’t we stop time?
Why can’t you whisk me off my feet?

Can you show me the way to the realm of dreams?
Can you show me the high way that leads to the end?
Can you teach me to never let go of all that will come to be?

I see the bright lights
The bright lights of rapture

Why can’t you help me?
Why can’t you see me way off far

Can you show me the way to the place of light?
Can you show me the way to the soft touches?
Can you teach me to love the way you do so I can see myself again?

I'm Not

He doesn’t see you
He doesn’t recognize you
Losing control

Others may have insight
Others want to be true
Gone with him

Lost in the skin
Lost in the eyes
He is leaving

He is clear as the sun
He is the essence of exhilaration
Lost in the Gospel

Hurried is the sentiment
Hurried is the existence
He takes time

He lives in you
He fastens his heart in yours
Hurried is hers

Where are you?
Where is he not?
HE is right there

HE is love
HE will know
Where am I?

Chains

All of the childhood insecurities of old come to rise
The curvature of it all immortalized by photographs
Adolescence is the absence of an adult frame of mind but isn’t a it a pity; adulthood is cursed with out an adolescent frame of mind
Adequately suffering to consequences of choices knot to me
Now questions of a new path arise
Above us all are stars and from them all which shall we choose?
The wise will choose slowly but the fool will grab at the brightest at first glance

Are we all slaves to our own bondage?

Break the chains
Please!

Breaking the Cycle

I.

Falling through the dark ring is never enough
Falling into the dark ring, now that’s a different story
Scrapping on the surface of the ring is where it starts
Scrapping on the bedside were dreams take place is where it ends
Passing through the ring is heavenly
Being within the ring is devilishly unsatisfying

II.

I banish you from all
From the depths of my body, mind, and soul you must be gone
I forbid you to be alive any longer
From you there is no joy; only heartache, pain, and self-loathing
I will be restored
From the restoration will be self-gratitude, kindness, and an image I once called my own
I will restore myself with He who has been, is, and will forever be known throughout the ages
From me will be a life beautifully lived

G-Pain

In life there will always come a time to experiment. There are some things I wish to experience more in life but I do now know which things I don't want to experience again. Among those things could be a bloody nose, the stomach flu, a rocky roller coaster, wearing spandex, ect...but I'm referring to more critical experiences which society tells us is the only way to have fun. I'm referring to drinking. Now I'm not saying it's wrong because it's not wrong at all! I'm just choosing right now at this moment in my life that I will not participate in that activity again. For one the after taste is terrible and two it makes my stomach sour turn sour.

Full circles are inevitably avoidable and heartbreaking. I already knew this but just the fact that it is true stinks. Problems are always and will always be there with or without the help of others. And why have I become this unmotivational girl (to myself) with no want to do well in anything in life. Well, that's a lie. I do want to do well but I just feel as if something is not there. Something is missing in the process. Trying and retrying to get it right over and over again and continually failing is making me calloused to the problems of life. It's to the point where I just don't care because the problems have been there ultimately my entire adolescents and now follow me into adulthood.

The devil is so cruel and I am an idiot to follow and stumble day in and day out. I don't seek God often enough for reassurance. He is my LORD, my Savior; He is Life. How can I avoid Him like I have my entire adolescents? It is utterly impossible for me to believe what has happened. I wonder if He cries out always? Is God always in pain? And if He were then wouldn’t His Heaven be more like Hell for Him? Yet for those in Heaven it would be “Heaven” as they say? How is it possible that somewhere so ideal, a paradise, a utopia can also be filled with the thoughts of Gods pain and suffering because of the worlds shortcomings? These are questions. I’m not stating these ideas as facts, just pondering the spectacular love of our Almighty and Powerful God.

Challenge:

Suppose my inquiries are true and that you are the cause of His pain. Strive to be a better person and be one less spear in His side, one less thorn on His head, one less tear He must shed.

The Time Has Come

The time has come for Kayla to change. The change will happen with in myself. I have no idea how I will accomplish this but it will happen. I have lived my life far to long in this black whole of what I call....well I'm not going to give that information away...but it's been to long, and I'm getting out of control. I want my life back. I want to be free again. I want to feel as though I can make it again. I want to care again. I want to love again. I want to have a sincere smile again. I want to care more and more again.

1) Read One Proverb out of the Bible a day and reflect on it.
2) Pray at least 3 times a day.
3) Work out 3-4 times a week.
4) Keep my room clean.
5) Stand up for myself.
6) Not be so inappropriate (even if that's who I am sometimes)
7) Take all my necessary daily medications DAILY
8) Be more responsible
9) Be more in tune with those around me.
10) Go to class, do my hw, and strive to give everything I've got to reach the level of potential that God has intended for me to have at this time in my life.

Does this sound very self centered? Most likely, but I have taken a year and two months to better my self and have gotten absolutely NO WHERE. This time I will stick to my guns. This time I will read. This time I will ask for help. This time is for me. This time is for my health. This time is for my friends. This time is for my family. This time is for my art. This time is for my God.

Of All Things. Shoker!

So I've been trying really hard just to stay fit active and eat right so that I can just feel better about my body and guuuuuessss what?! It is! I'm so happy right now to be alive!

This week has been interesting. It started with Church and a Mu Phi Epsilon meeting and hopefully it will end with karaoke at Bennigan's! All of my new friends at Texas State are amazing. They are all so diverse and I am very thankful that they are.

Yesterday I was having a discussion with my closest and best friend. They told me that there was this guy who thought I was absolutely gorgeous (which I already new he thought that a long time ago), but probably won't date me just because I won't have sex with him. At fist I pretty much blew up and was like "that ho!" and so on. But then my friend Jessica, as well as my closest friend, that to boys who have already had sex it becomes something they are accustomed to in a relationship and some are just not willing to give it up. Now when they said that I felt like it was an "aHA" moment. It gave me just that much more insight to how people are about sex. It totally makes since now. My feelings are a bit hurt, but who knows. Maybe it's better that we don't date because he may not to turn out to be so great. After all, don't we all deserve the best?

Peace be with you.

Signed worth it for alway,
Soaring Song Bird

Well here goes the first blog......

I'm 19 and I want a tattoo!! My parents would go crazy if I got one though....seriously they would drop dead and disown me. Mk well maybe not those two things but they most certainly would do something extreme.

I want some type of flying bird. I've looked all over the internet and still haven't found one that is perfect for me. Maybe this is because I'm way too picky and a bit apprehensive about getting it. The tattoo will only be like a centimeter or two long on the top of my left thumb. I think it'll look really good!

Then I started thinking about my future kids and in-laws. Now I don't even have a boy friend but you know, a girl starts to wonder. Especially a girl like me, who ponders all the spectrums of life. Will I be bad influence to be kids because I have tattooed a bird to my left thumb? Will I give the wrong impression to my, unknown, in-laws? Will I be considered unprofessional? All these questions, plus more, that ramble throughout this tightly woven head of shinny, brown ringlets God has blessed me with.

Signed the apprehensive for now,
soaring song bird